Tales From Podex: Assisted Attempt at Acquisition

He'd get them this time.

For months he'd been trying to beat them, sneak in, swipe the loot, then get away. But what should have been simple was somehow foiled every single time by bad luck. Maybe he really did use shoddy equipment as they kept suggesting. No, it had to be just a run of bad luck.

Again and again, he'd been beaten by this Podex. He could just imagine them laughing at him. Well, he'd finally get the last laugh.

"You should be almost there," crackled a voice into his ear.

"Um, yes, almost at the spot," Clumsy spoke out loud.

Getting away last time, he stumbled into the lair of someone whom called himself "The Mastermind." In order to get this mysterious, and scary, character off his back, he had to run a few errands. But he performed to The Mastermind's satisfaction, so he let him go. But he did get one thing out of it. Someone whom also had been doing the mystery man's bidding was willing to partner with him to be the "brains" of the operation, in exchange for a share of the Lindens. "Bilby" as he called himself would offer advice from a small radio in Clumsy's ear as he observed his position on a map, and as the burglar described what he saw.

Bilby's plan turned out to be pretty smart. Instead of walking in during broad daylight, wait until dark when there was less staff on duty. And instead of trying to go in the front door through some disguise, sneak in through a back door on the second floor.

So Clumsy headed over to the Podex Bank at night, heading to the side of the building. He went to the midsection, where there was a deck on the second floor that would allow for access inside.

"Okay, throw the rope up."

"I'm on it." Clumsy got a rope and hook, and threw it up. The hook caught onto the other side of the wall. He climbed up one of the support pillars, and once over the edge, "Okay, I'm in."

"Great. Just make your way downstairs, and the safe should be in one of the back rooms."

Ckumsy then made his way to the stairs. He then began making his way down, but he slipped and slid down. He ended up at the bottom with a thud."

"What was that?!"

"Uh, nothing," Clumsy whispered. He quickly got back on his feet, and out of sight of the front desks sneaked around to where the back rooms were. He began checking them. Finally, he saw next to some crates a safe.

 "I found it. It looks pretty small for a bank this size."

"Could be a second safe for special valuables. Now hold the mike up to next to the dial, and I'll let you know when to turn the other way."

Clumsy did, and began cracking the safe with Bilby's help. And in just a few minutes, there was a click, "I got it!" he gave a loud whisper.

"Great, now just reach inside and - "

"Security!" The lights came on, and clumsy turned to see a guard dressed in blue.

"Um, hi!" Clumsy couldn't believe it, his luck had soured yet again!

"Hi yourself. What are you doing here?"

"Um, I needed some fresh air, so I thought I might head to the back."

"I think not 'Clumsy Cooper.' You're under arrest."

Clumsy looked frantically for another way out, and the guard began walking his way. Clumsy then ran to the side and around him. The guard tried to grab him, but it was his turn to stumble. By the time he recovered, Clumsy was close to the door. He then drew a weapon, "Halt, or I'll shoot!"

Clumsy yelped and continued running. Bilby's voice yelled, "Run, get out of there!"

"What's a guard doing here?!"

"You never told me there was one!"

"I've never tried to get in at night!" Clumsy ran down the hall, past the front desk and it's startled tellers, and out the front door. He continued running. Fortunately the cover of night meant he was quickly out of sight.

"Some help you turned out to be." Clumsy growled.

"Well, there's next time." Bilby tried to reassure. But despite his getaway, Clumsy was not happy. Yet again, Podex had beaten him.

Back at the Podex Exchange, the Second Life Police Department was called, and they did an investigation. Not finding Clumsy Cooper, they issued a warrant for his arrest for attempted griefing.

But even if Cooper's scheme had worked, there was no way he could have gotten away with any ill-gotten gains. “All our exchanges are done through electronic transfer,” a teller later explained to the SLPD, “He wouldn’t have walked away with a single Linden.”

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at the Coda sim at (45, 218, 61).

Note: The preceding is a fictional story, written for the dual purpose of advertisement and entertainment.

By Bixyl Shuftan