Tales From Podex: Pilgrim Pilfering

By Bixyl Shuftan

 It was a fairly typical late November day at the Podex Exchange. Transactions were going about at  fairly busy rate. Between customers coming in, the tellers talked about where to get decorations for Thanksgiving. They also talked about holiday events, such as the one at Aero Pines Park.

It was in the middle of one of their conversations that a figure walked in. He was dressed all in black, with a white shirt underneath. He had on a dark cloak, and a funny hat with a buckle bigger than the one on his belt. Slung over his back was what looked like the stock of a firearm.

"Um, can we help you?" One of the tellers asked.

"Yes," spoke the visitor, "I was chasing a turkey, and I saw it run in here."

"A turkey?"

"Yes. I'm having a dinner of thanks with some very important neighbors, and they insisted a wild turkey be on the menu. Oh, I think I just saw him duck into there, where the vault is. I'll just be going in there after him."

"I think not," the teller chuckled, "I should have guessed it was just a matter of time before you pulled another one of your shenanigans, Clumsy Cooper."

"Who be clumsy? I just be a simple pilgrim trying to catch dinner for friends and family."

"I'll tell you what, since you livened up our day with your hilarity, we won't call the cops on you, if you just turn around and walk out that door."

"How about this?" Clumsy dropped his puritan act and drew the gun, a blunderbuss from the early days of firearms, "Hand over the Lindens, and no one gets hurt."

Instead of fear, the tellers just laughed, "You have got to be kidding. We know you. You haven't got the cash or patience to get anything more than a cheap freebie. That won't work here."

"Oh yeah?" Clumsy pointed the blunderbuss over the tellers' heads and pulled the trigger …

Nothing.

Clumsy blinked, then tried firing the gun again. It still wouldn't go off. "What the blazes? … He took the blunderbuss, and looked down the barrel

BLAM!!

The gun went off right in Clumsy's face. Fortunetly for him, the blunderbuss' ammo wasn't fatal, the old weapon's purpose being mainly to scare and make noise. But the blast knocked the thief right out, and he collapsed. Once the tellers made sure he was otherwise okay, they called the police. The SLPD then showed up, and took Clumsy away, charged with attempted griefing.

But even if Clumsy Cooper's scheme had worked, there was no way he could have gotten away with any ill-gotten gains. “All our exchanges are done through electronic transfer,” a teller later explained to the SLPD, “He wouldn’t have walked away with a single Linden.”

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at the Coda sim at (45, 218, 61).

Note: The preceding is a fictional story, written for the dual purpose of advertisement and entertainment.

By Bixyl Shuftan

Tales From Podex: The Heist

By Bixyl Shuftan

He'd get them this time.

Cooper thought he'd lost them for good after they moved. Just why they up and went to another location, he never knew why. Maybe they were afraid he was finally about to pull off the perfect plan that would result in him walking away with all those Lindens. Well, finally he found it.

He thought about what plan to use this time on them, then he found out the building was different this time. Besides the bank, the place housed an art collection. So with that in mind, he decided to take a different strategy: swipe the art. Oh, he'd have to go through the trouble of having to fence the goods, but maybe he'd get lucky in finding someone willing to pay a good amount. And while it might not be robbing the vault, it would be finally pulling one over against the bank that had humiliated him for so long.

Cooper dropped by on a weekend, in which he figured the tellers wouldn't be there. He sneaked around to the side, threw a rope and hook up to the second floor, and made his way up. Well, at least he thought it was the second floor. He quickly noticed from the level of flooring just in front of him that he had ended up climbing up to a third level! He grumbled at his luck, having made twice the strenuous effort he needed to, but went about scouting around for valuables to take.

The first thing he saw was a contraption, some kind of waterwheel. Not recognizing anything of obvious great value elsewhere on the third floor, he made his way  over the side down to the second level. He noticed a sign over a doorway to inside, "Polish Art." But a quick glance inside showed lots of sculpture and modern art. Perhaps a bit heavy for a master thief like himself to carry.

But there were a couple paintings nearby out in the open, ripe for the taking. One was of a river and mountain range. The next was of a wheatfield with a girl looking at a water tower and building. There was also some narration.

First life, second life,
past life, future life,
on and on it goes …

The sun shines, the wind blows
through them all what always shows
is the beauty and experience …

With the wisdom gained,
I learn to appreciate …

Stillness and silence

The work was titled "Through All My Lives," by Allison Selene. The words of philosophy were lost on Cooper. But he had the idea this would be a picture more recognizable as unique, and perhaps worth less money to buyers who'd have to keep such a work from public view. But there was a third painting. He went over, and began looking it over.

"Fine art display, isn't it."

Surprised, Cooper turned, and found himself face to face with a wealthy-looking couple. Out on the street, he might simply have followed them to their home and staked it out to burgle when they were absent. But taken by surprise like this, his reaction was to back away, "Um, yes, fine art. Gotta go!"

He slipped into the doorway, but found himself face to face with a woman and her pet dog, "Yap! Yap! Yap!" That was enough. Clumsy then sprinted back out, over to the edge, and jumped over the wall. He made a hard landing, "Oooof!" While able to get up, he could only limp away.

As it turned out, Podex was open that day, as it is 24 hours a day seven days a week. Hearing about the intruder with the mask of dark fur around his eyes, the tellers called the police. As "Clumsy Cooper" hadn't actually laid a hand on anything, for once he hadn't committed a crime. But the SLPD is still looking for him for previous charges of attempted griefing.

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at Moonberry (26, 223, 34).

Note: The preceding is a fictional story, written for the dual purpose of advertisement and entertainment.

Bixyl Shuftan

Tales From Podex: The Love Bandit

By Bixyl Shuftan

It was mid-February at the Podex Exchange. And as usual the tellers made deals with customers coming in, and chatted among themselves between clients. Some talked about the Mardi Gras events, such at the one at New Toulouse. One mentioned a friend going to a church service on Ash Wednesday. And then there was the day that was bringing in quite a few clients: Valentines Day. People talked about going to Valentine events, such as those at Areo Pines Park or the Zero Gravity and Happy Vixen Clubs, the themed Valentine Town, or just taking a sweetheart to a secluded Romance area.

While they were talking, someone stepped in. He wasn't dressed in much, just a pair of red shorts, and had a quiver and bow on his back behind a pair of white wings. But his appearance was  grey and black fur with a ring pattern on his tail and a black mask over his eyes.

"Hello," spoke the visitor in a meek-sounding voice, "I'm here to get some gold arrows. I was flying overhead, and they fell into your vents over the vault area. If I don't get them, well, I won't be able to help certain couples fall in love."

One of the tellers finally chuckled a bit, "You really thought you could fool us with that flimsy disguise, Clumsy Cooper?"

"Who is this Clumsy Cooper? I'm Cupid, here to get my arrows back that fell here."

"I'll have to hand it to your persistence, but not your intelligence. Now go away before we call the police."

"Okay, be like that!" Clumsy's voice went back to normal as he drew the bow, "Now hand over the Lindens, and no one gets hurt."

The teller laughed, "Don't kid yourself. You expect that cheap freebie to work here?"

"Why you … " Clumsy reached for an arrow, then drew the bowstring back. But the result was a "creeeaaaak" noise, distracting Clumsy. Then the bow broke with a SNAP, a taut string released striking his hand. He dropped the broken bow and reflexively stuck the sore area of his hand into his mouth, "Owwwwww!"

"Get 'im!"

Realizing his latest heist had failed, Clumsy ran out the building. He quickly scrambled down the steps, then ran down the beach. He jumped into the water, and began swimming away, loosing the fake wings and quiver. He saw a boat, got on it, and began sailing off. But the water was colder this time of year, so he ended up doing more shivering under a blanket than sailing. He was soon picked up by the SLCG, then turned over to the police who arrested him, charging him with attempted griefing.

But even if Clumsy Cooper's scheme had worked, there was no way he could have gotten away with any ill-gotten gains. “All our exchanges are done through electronic transfer,” a teller later explained to the SLPD, “He wouldn’t have walked away with a single Linden.”

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at Moonberry (26, 223, 34).

Note: The preceding is a fictional story, written for the dual purpose of advertisement and entertainment.

Bixyl Shuftan