Tales From Podex: The Love Bandit

By Bixyl Shuftan

It was mid-February at the Podex Exchange. And as usual the tellers made deals with customers coming in, and chatted among themselves between clients. Some talked about the Mardi Gras events, such at the one at New Toulouse. One mentioned a friend going to a church service on Ash Wednesday. And then there was the day that was bringing in quite a few clients: Valentines Day. People talked about going to Valentine events, such as those at Areo Pines Park or the Zero Gravity and Happy Vixen Clubs, the themed Valentine Town, or just taking a sweetheart to a secluded Romance area.

While they were talking, someone stepped in. He wasn't dressed in much, just a pair of red shorts, and had a quiver and bow on his back behind a pair of white wings. But his appearance was  grey and black fur with a ring pattern on his tail and a black mask over his eyes.

"Hello," spoke the visitor in a meek-sounding voice, "I'm here to get some gold arrows. I was flying overhead, and they fell into your vents over the vault area. If I don't get them, well, I won't be able to help certain couples fall in love."

One of the tellers finally chuckled a bit, "You really thought you could fool us with that flimsy disguise, Clumsy Cooper?"

"Who is this Clumsy Cooper? I'm Cupid, here to get my arrows back that fell here."

"I'll have to hand it to your persistence, but not your intelligence. Now go away before we call the police."

"Okay, be like that!" Clumsy's voice went back to normal as he drew the bow, "Now hand over the Lindens, and no one gets hurt."

The teller laughed, "Don't kid yourself. You expect that cheap freebie to work here?"

"Why you … " Clumsy reached for an arrow, then drew the bowstring back. But the result was a "creeeaaaak" noise, distracting Clumsy. Then the bow broke with a SNAP, a taut string released striking his hand. He dropped the broken bow and reflexively stuck the sore area of his hand into his mouth, "Owwwwww!"

"Get 'im!"

Realizing his latest heist had failed, Clumsy ran out the building. He quickly scrambled down the steps, then ran down the beach. He jumped into the water, and began swimming away, loosing the fake wings and quiver. He saw a boat, got on it, and began sailing off. But the water was colder this time of year, so he ended up doing more shivering under a blanket than sailing. He was soon picked up by the SLCG, then turned over to the police who arrested him, charging him with attempted griefing.

But even if Clumsy Cooper's scheme had worked, there was no way he could have gotten away with any ill-gotten gains. “All our exchanges are done through electronic transfer,” a teller later explained to the SLPD, “He wouldn’t have walked away with a single Linden.”

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at Moonberry (26, 223, 34).

Note: The preceding is a fictional story, written for the dual purpose of advertisement and entertainment.

Bixyl Shuftan

Feathers Fly at Podex Bank

The workers at the Podex Exchange were having another typical November day. They talked some about the Veterans Day celebrations earlier that month. They talked a little about upcoming Winter activities that would soon arrive across the Grid. But more immediate were Thanksgiving activities. Some of the tellers expressed they seemed hard to find. Others told them about the “Turkey Day” festivities at Areo Pines.

During the talk, a figure approached the bank entrance. A teller glanced his way before turning to the others, “Looks like someone from a Thanksgiving party is stopping by for a little business.” They took care of some paperwork as the resident entered, then one turned his way, “Hello, how can we hel-” his words were cut short when he recognized the visitor.

The resident was wearing an American Indian costume. Not an authentic one, but one that looked like it was made for a low-budget movie. the most prominent feature were the feathers worn in places around the arms and legs, as well as a single feather on a headband, with the largest piece being a bow and quiver. The guy wearing it was instantly recognizable, “Clumsy Cooper,” the petty thief whom kept trying to rob the Podex exchange. But his attempts had never succeeded, sometimes failing epically.

“I bring greetings from Procyon Tribe,” Clumsy bluffed, talking like a movie character, “Here for terms of Treaty. Your Chief Shuftan get Moonberry land in exchange for fifty thousand Lindens every autumn at the time of the turkey. Will take now.”

The tellers looked at him, then chuckled. One joked, “Procyon Tribe had weak claim on land. Deal to trade for Lindens never made. Deal made to trade for two skins.” He then reached under hsi table, and tossed a couple moth-eaten rabbit pelts in Clumsy’s direction.

It was then Clumsy dropped his fake Indian act, “Okay, this is a stick-up!" He then drew his bow and arrow, "Hand over your Lindens!”

The tellers stared back, and one retorted, “Oh pul-lease. I’ve seen real Indians, or rather Native Americans, and I’ve seen real bows and arrows. That thing’s a cheap imitation from a freebie store that couldn’t scratch a target.”

“Oh yeah?!” Clumsy then pulled back on the string, aiming at a piece of equipment. But the result was a “crick” sound, followed by the bow breaking in two. Surprised, Clumsy let it drop to the ground. For a moment, no one spoke a word. Then one teller yelled, “Get ‘im!”

Clumsy promptly turned and ran out of the building. He sprited down to the shore, and jumped into the water. He then swam away, once again having nothing to show for his efforts but humiliation. He is currently wanted by the SLPD for attempted griefing.

But even if Clumsy Cooper had a working bow and arrow, there was no way he could have gotten away with any ill-gotten gains. “All our exchanges are done through electronic transfer,” a teller later explained, “He wouldn’t have walked away with a single Linden.”

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at Moonberry (26, 223, 34).

Bixyl Shuftan