It Came From Bellisseria Chat: Carrot Caper By Boat

 

 

Another funny picture from Traci Quandry-Marabana (Traci Quandry). This one shows her raccoon minions loading her boat with carrots, one having fallen into the drink, and a couple are hauling someone to the boat as well, suggesting the veggies weren't exactly obtained via a purchase. 

 

She commented, "Well  just did one  with a boat. I call this 'Stop leave the cop, take the carrots.'" She would later say something about wondering if anyone got "the semi-movie reference." Exactly how the raccoons immobilized the policeman is unknown.

 

DJ Matt Sets Up GoFundMe After Robbery

 
DJ Matt (Matt Carlton) raised plenty of dollars for the Relay for Life in Second Life, such as the DJ competition in April. Unfortunately, she herself right now is in need of money. Her luck recently took a turn for the worst. Her storage shed was broken into, and a number of items were stolen, notably lawn equipment and kitchen appliances.

We found my shed was broken into at my property on Monday, all my lawn equipment was stolen as was all my small kitchen appliances and cookware I was storing in there while redoing wiring and drywall at the house. They took some other miscellaneous stuff, like and old PC and some old radios, but not as bad as the other things. Anything easy to snatch was gone.  I been staying with my parents furring this remodel but now this has really screwed us over. I did not have insurance for this property either. I hate asking for help but I'm at a loss as to what to do. Anything is appreciated. I am even currently selling my old Pathfinder just to try and get extra cash to get a more efficient car just to make deliveries to try and dig out of this hole I am in, but it just seems to keep getting deeper. I'm not great at asking things like this so....I guess I'll leave it at this. Thankfully the house was not harmed and the shed door just needs new hinges....

Matt set up a GoFundMe for anyone wishing to donate. As of the writing of this article, $20 has been donated.

Other ways to get money to her include purchasing items from her small online store, or getting a copy of her cookbook.

Bixyl Shuftan

Cartoon of the Day

Taken at the Happy Vixen

By Bixyl Shuftan

Tales from Podex: Eggs Over Squeezy

By Bixyl Shuftan


March had been a good month for the Podex Exchange. As always, people went there to exchange their dollars, Euros, and other global currencies along with bitcoins for Lindens. Often they'd talk to the tellers what they were getting them for. Some were out to enjoy the winter season while there was still winter around. Others were buying them for apparel for the St. Patrick's parties, getting outfits, decorations, and kegs of green beer. Then there was the start of the Relay Season, and people were donating to their teams in various events. And of course, late in the month people were starting to get Easter decorations, which would fall on the first weekend in April.

The tellers were talking about the various goings on, when a certain figure walked in. He was wearing some colorful shorts, had long ears, and was carrying a basket of eggs and chocolates. And there was a sign inside, "Happy Easter."

The tellers looked at him, "Um, can we help you?"

"Yes, I'm the local Easter Bunny around here, and need to hide some eggs. This looks like a good spot."

"You want to hide eggs here?"

"Yes, in the back of the place, in the room you call the vault."

"I think not," the teller chuckled, "Clumsy Cooper, you honestly thought that lame disguise would work?"

"Who's Clumsy? I'm just here to hide some eggs."

"Yeah, right. Just turn right around before we call the police."

"Okay, be that way!" Clumsy then pulled out one of the eggs, "These are actually bombs. Just hand over the Lindens, and no one gets hurt."

The teller laughed, "The only bomb is your act. We're calling the cops."

Clumsy reacted by taking the egg and hurling it at the teller. But it didn't hit him. Instead, it hit the counter, bounced off, and hit him square in the forehead, "Owwwww!

"Get 'im!"

Realizing his plot was foiled, Clumsy turned around to bolt away. But while he had been confronting the tellers, someone had stepped inside the exchange after him. From the waist down, she had a serpintine, snakelike body: a naga. Clumsy yelped and tried to get around her. But she whipped her tail out at him, and tripped him. He tried to scramble up, but found her tail winding around him. "Ahhhhhhh!" He yelped again, trying to break free, but the naga's tail was just too strong. Clumsy was tighly bound.

"Lemme go!" the burglar begged.

"So ya can rob this place again?" The naga asked.

"Heeeellllppp!" Clumsy looked frightened.

"How long can you hold him, Ma'am?" one of the tellers asked.

"How long does it take to get the police here?" She answered.

"Not long. You want anything while we wait."

"Nah, I'm fine. He's actually kinda cute. I just wanna give him a nice big squeeze."

Clumsy felt the coils around him get a little tighter. He wasn't sure who to be afraid of more, time in the slammer, or being a little too close to a phobia of his.

"Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?"

It wasn't long before the SLPD arrived. Clumsy Cooper was arrested and charged with attempted griefing.

But even if Cooper's scheme had worked, there was no way he could have gotten away with any ill-gotten gains. “All our exchanges are done through electronic transfer,” a teller later explained to the SLPD, “He wouldn’t have walked away with a single Linden.”

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at the Coda sim at (45, 218, 61).

Note: The preceding is a fictional story, written for the dual purpose of advertisement and entertainment.

By Bixyl Shuftan 

Tales From Podex: Assisted Attempt at Acquisition

He'd get them this time.

For months he'd been trying to beat them, sneak in, swipe the loot, then get away. But what should have been simple was somehow foiled every single time by bad luck. Maybe he really did use shoddy equipment as they kept suggesting. No, it had to be just a run of bad luck.

Again and again, he'd been beaten by this Podex. He could just imagine them laughing at him. Well, he'd finally get the last laugh.

"You should be almost there," crackled a voice into his ear.

"Um, yes, almost at the spot," Clumsy spoke out loud.

Getting away last time, he stumbled into the lair of someone whom called himself "The Mastermind." In order to get this mysterious, and scary, character off his back, he had to run a few errands. But he performed to The Mastermind's satisfaction, so he let him go. But he did get one thing out of it. Someone whom also had been doing the mystery man's bidding was willing to partner with him to be the "brains" of the operation, in exchange for a share of the Lindens. "Bilby" as he called himself would offer advice from a small radio in Clumsy's ear as he observed his position on a map, and as the burglar described what he saw.

Bilby's plan turned out to be pretty smart. Instead of walking in during broad daylight, wait until dark when there was less staff on duty. And instead of trying to go in the front door through some disguise, sneak in through a back door on the second floor.

So Clumsy headed over to the Podex Bank at night, heading to the side of the building. He went to the midsection, where there was a deck on the second floor that would allow for access inside.

"Okay, throw the rope up."

"I'm on it." Clumsy got a rope and hook, and threw it up. The hook caught onto the other side of the wall. He climbed up one of the support pillars, and once over the edge, "Okay, I'm in."

"Great. Just make your way downstairs, and the safe should be in one of the back rooms."

Ckumsy then made his way to the stairs. He then began making his way down, but he slipped and slid down. He ended up at the bottom with a thud."

"What was that?!"

"Uh, nothing," Clumsy whispered. He quickly got back on his feet, and out of sight of the front desks sneaked around to where the back rooms were. He began checking them. Finally, he saw next to some crates a safe.

 "I found it. It looks pretty small for a bank this size."

"Could be a second safe for special valuables. Now hold the mike up to next to the dial, and I'll let you know when to turn the other way."

Clumsy did, and began cracking the safe with Bilby's help. And in just a few minutes, there was a click, "I got it!" he gave a loud whisper.

"Great, now just reach inside and - "

"Security!" The lights came on, and clumsy turned to see a guard dressed in blue.

"Um, hi!" Clumsy couldn't believe it, his luck had soured yet again!

"Hi yourself. What are you doing here?"

"Um, I needed some fresh air, so I thought I might head to the back."

"I think not 'Clumsy Cooper.' You're under arrest."

Clumsy looked frantically for another way out, and the guard began walking his way. Clumsy then ran to the side and around him. The guard tried to grab him, but it was his turn to stumble. By the time he recovered, Clumsy was close to the door. He then drew a weapon, "Halt, or I'll shoot!"

Clumsy yelped and continued running. Bilby's voice yelled, "Run, get out of there!"

"What's a guard doing here?!"

"You never told me there was one!"

"I've never tried to get in at night!" Clumsy ran down the hall, past the front desk and it's startled tellers, and out the front door. He continued running. Fortunately the cover of night meant he was quickly out of sight.

"Some help you turned out to be." Clumsy growled.

"Well, there's next time." Bilby tried to reassure. But despite his getaway, Clumsy was not happy. Yet again, Podex had beaten him.

Back at the Podex Exchange, the Second Life Police Department was called, and they did an investigation. Not finding Clumsy Cooper, they issued a warrant for his arrest for attempted griefing.

But even if Cooper's scheme had worked, there was no way he could have gotten away with any ill-gotten gains. “All our exchanges are done through electronic transfer,” a teller later explained to the SLPD, “He wouldn’t have walked away with a single Linden.”

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at the Coda sim at (45, 218, 61).

Note: The preceding is a fictional story, written for the dual purpose of advertisement and entertainment.

By Bixyl Shuftan 

Tales From Podex: The Heist

By Bixyl Shuftan

He'd get them this time.

Cooper thought he'd lost them for good after they moved. Just why they up and went to another location, he never knew why. Maybe they were afraid he was finally about to pull off the perfect plan that would result in him walking away with all those Lindens. Well, finally he found it.

He thought about what plan to use this time on them, then he found out the building was different this time. Besides the bank, the place housed an art collection. So with that in mind, he decided to take a different strategy: swipe the art. Oh, he'd have to go through the trouble of having to fence the goods, but maybe he'd get lucky in finding someone willing to pay a good amount. And while it might not be robbing the vault, it would be finally pulling one over against the bank that had humiliated him for so long.

Cooper dropped by on a weekend, in which he figured the tellers wouldn't be there. He sneaked around to the side, threw a rope and hook up to the second floor, and made his way up. Well, at least he thought it was the second floor. He quickly noticed from the level of flooring just in front of him that he had ended up climbing up to a third level! He grumbled at his luck, having made twice the strenuous effort he needed to, but went about scouting around for valuables to take.

The first thing he saw was a contraption, some kind of waterwheel. Not recognizing anything of obvious great value elsewhere on the third floor, he made his way  over the side down to the second level. He noticed a sign over a doorway to inside, "Polish Art." But a quick glance inside showed lots of sculpture and modern art. Perhaps a bit heavy for a master thief like himself to carry.

But there were a couple paintings nearby out in the open, ripe for the taking. One was of a river and mountain range. The next was of a wheatfield with a girl looking at a water tower and building. There was also some narration.

First life, second life,
past life, future life,
on and on it goes …

The sun shines, the wind blows
through them all what always shows
is the beauty and experience …

With the wisdom gained,
I learn to appreciate …

Stillness and silence

The work was titled "Through All My Lives," by Allison Selene. The words of philosophy were lost on Cooper. But he had the idea this would be a picture more recognizable as unique, and perhaps worth less money to buyers who'd have to keep such a work from public view. But there was a third painting. He went over, and began looking it over.

"Fine art display, isn't it."

Surprised, Cooper turned, and found himself face to face with a wealthy-looking couple. Out on the street, he might simply have followed them to their home and staked it out to burgle when they were absent. But taken by surprise like this, his reaction was to back away, "Um, yes, fine art. Gotta go!"

He slipped into the doorway, but found himself face to face with a woman and her pet dog, "Yap! Yap! Yap!" That was enough. Clumsy then sprinted back out, over to the edge, and jumped over the wall. He made a hard landing, "Oooof!" While able to get up, he could only limp away.

As it turned out, Podex was open that day, as it is 24 hours a day seven days a week. Hearing about the intruder with the mask of dark fur around his eyes, the tellers called the police. As "Clumsy Cooper" hadn't actually laid a hand on anything, for once he hadn't committed a crime. But the SLPD is still looking for him for previous charges of attempted griefing.

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at Moonberry (26, 223, 34).

Note: The preceding is a fictional story, written for the dual purpose of advertisement and entertainment.

Bixyl Shuftan

Tales from Podex: Olympic Flaming

It was a typical day for the Podex bank in late July. The month had been an eventful time for the Podex Exchange. With the Relay for Life earlier in the month, people had bought Lindens to give to the American Cancer Society through their teams. Now with the end of the month nearing, things were more or less back to normal, people coming in to get Lindens for swimsuits and other summer gear. There was a little talk about the upcoming Olympics, and between visits from customers, one teller was talking to the others about going to one of the London areas for the events there.

The talk was soon interrupted by a visitor. He wasn't dressed in much, just shorts and a white shirt with the Olympic Games logo and "London 2012." In his hand, there was a torch that burned brightly. But the one wearing them was clearly recognizable.

"Clumsy Cooper!" One of the tellers called out, "You got some nerve showing up. And while you're worn some lame disguises before, this doesn't even begin to hide you."

"Who said anything about hiding?" Clumsy asked, "I'm just helping to spread the Olympic spirit, on my way to the London sim." He walked further inside the building.

"Yeah, right! Now you just turn around before we call the cops on you!"

"How about this?" He put the lit end of the torch next to some plants, "Hand over your Lindens, and I won't set fire the place."

The tellers just looked at him for a moment before one spoke again, "I'll have to hand it to you, I never heard of a bank being held up with a torch before."

"Fine. Now just show me the money!"

"I think we shall not."

"I told you, I'll make this place burn!" He had the torch almost touching the leaves of the foilage.

"Go ahead and try. Knowing you, that torch is a freebie that can't light a thing"

"I'll show you!" The bandit then tried igniting the plant. But nothing happened. He then tried the dried leaves under it, still nothing.

"You never learn, do you?"

"Grrrr …" Irritated, the thief swung it at a nearby machine to try to ignite it. But living up to his name, Clumsy didn't have a firm enough grip on the torch, and it slipped out of his hands. It fell to the ground, and broke in two, the flame fading away. Clumsy looked at the sight in disbelief, "Um … "

"Get him!"

Hearing those words, the masked intruder then bolted from the building, running down the stairs, and down the beach. He ran to some nearby homes and vanished from view. Currently, Clumsy Cooper is wanted by the SLPD on charges of attempted griefing.

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at Moonberry (26, 223, 34).

Note: The preceding is a fictional story, written for the dual purpose of advertisement and entertainment.

Bixyl Shuftan

Tales from Podex: No Pot of Gold for Burglar

It was a fairly typical March day at the Podex Exchange. Between customers, the tellers would chat of goings on. Some talked about the opening Relay Life season and the various events it's teams held. Another mentioned the Military Expo near the end of the month. And of course, there was St. Patrick's Day. A couple of the tellers had gone to Dublin, but had to leave due to the lag. Two others went to themed parties elsewhere, and one had gone to Castle Blarney to kiss the stone.

In the middle of the talk, someone walked in. He was wearing green shorts, a green vest, and a green hat with a buckle. Definitely St. Patrick's colors. After some moments of silence, one asked, "Um, can I help you?"

"I be after me pot o' gold," the visitor answered in an stereotypical sounding Irish accent.

"Say what?"

"I want me pot o' gold. I be following' the en' o' th' rainbow to here, and now I be after me gold." He then began walking to the stairs.

"Jess a moment," one called out to him, imitating his accent, "Don't ye think we be able to see threw yer disguises an' shenanigans by now? Th' mask on your face, your ringed tail, ye be 'Clumsy Cooper' the good-fer-naught bandit."

"Who be clumsy?" the visitor asked, "I be from th' Emerald isle, and I be taking a leave from you as soon as I get me pot 'ol gold."


"Th' only place ye be taking a leave to be jail." the teller challenged.

"Now don' get ye britches in a bonnet," Clumsy then began waving a large stick around, "I'll be docking ye with me shileigh."

The teller chuckled, "Don' make me laugh. Ye can't fight worth a darn. Besides, known' you, that stick be from a freebie barn, too cheap an' weak to fight with."

"I'll show you weak!" Clumsy growled, forgetting the fake accent and taking his stick and slamming it against an ATM machine. But instead of leaving a mark or a crack, the wooden length went SNAP and broke in two. Clumsy's expression then changed, looking nervous, "Um, I think I be taking me leave of you right now."


"Sic im!"

Clumsy then bolted and ran out of the bank, his hat falling off as he left the building. Unfortunately for him, he didn't pay much attention to where he was going, and tripped over a rock. The thief then pratfalled, knocking himself out. It wasn't look before the SLPD showed up and took him in, charging him with attempted griefing.

But even if Clumsy had slipped past the tellers, there was no way he could have taken any cash. “All our exchanges are done by way of electronic transfer,” an employee later explained, “He wouldn’t have gotten away with a single, solitary Linden.”

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at Moonberry (26, 223, 34).

Note: The preceding is a fictional story, written for the dual purpose of advertisement and entertainment.

Bixyl Shuftan

SL Machinima: Podex Bank Robbery

Jacek Shuftan of Podex pointed out another attempt at a bank robbery at Podex. They got farther than "Clumsy Cooper" ever did. But unlike the masked man, these bandit's won't be coming back to the Grid.

Pirating Podex

It started off as more or less any other day at the Podex Exchange. One of the tellers talked about going to the Festival at Raglan Shire later on. Someone else talked about taking a look at the "Xanadu Club" in Sunweaver Air. Then someone remembered what day it was, "Arrrrr! It be September 19th., maties. It be 'Talk Like a Pirate Day,' lan'lubbers! Arrr!" And after a few chuckles, other tellers were doing it too, "Avast there!" "Shiver me timbers!" "Arrrr!"

While the tellers were joking and laughing, someone walked into the bank. Seeing him, a teller turned, "Good day Sir, what can - " the teller's sentence cut off when two things were clear. One, the visitor was dressed up in pirate garb, which included a sword. Two, his bushy banded tail and natural mask marked him as a familiar character: "Clumsy Cooper." Clumsy had repeatedly tried to rob Podex, and always failed.

"Avast ye scurvy dogs!" Clumsy took hold of a cutlass by the grip and drew it out of it's sheath, "This be a plunderin.'

“Avast yerself, lan’lubber!” One of the tellers called back, “Ye got some chum showin yerself here ye drunken bilge rat!”

“Don’ ye ‘landlubber’ me! Now gather up all ye booty an’ be quick abou’ it!”

“Ye pardon me if we not be so smartly ‘bout yer demands, youn’ pup. But ye try ta raid our poopdeck many times before, an’ every time ye end up keelhaulin’ yerself.”

“That be rotten luck. Now, do I need to wack a few of yer addin’ machines with me cutlass to git yer attention?” He pointed his sword forward.

“My attention be on yer cutlass. Five peices o’ eight that be nuthin’ but a cheap peice o’ plastic.”

“Arrrr! That be fightin’ words!” Clumsy then began swining the sword around, “I’ll make ye all walk th’ plank!” Then in the middle of his ranting, he slammed the blade of the sword onto the floor, and it snapped in two.

Clumsy looked at the broken blade wide-eyed, then looked at the tellers, “Um, perhaps I be a bit hasty.” He gave a nervous smile, “I be in a good mood. Ye can keep yer booty.”

“Get him!” The teller yelled, pointing at him, “Throw that sack o’ shark bait in th’ busted head!”

Clumsy then turned tail and ran back out the bank. He ran around and behind the bank to a nearby building. There was a hot air balloon on it, so he ran to it, hopped in, and cutthe rope holding it. Unfortunetly for Clumsy, it didn’t rise but instead settled completely to the ground. Frantic, Clumsy began banging onto the fuel tank to the heating unit. All he got was a huge puffof smoke, and as he coughed, the air bag slowly sagged and fell ontop of him, trapping him. By the time he wiiggled out, the police were waiting for him.

Clumsy Cooper was arrested by the SLPD for multiple counts of griefing, and one count of littering.

But even if Clumsy Cooper had a real blade, his efforts at getting pirate booty were in vain. “All our exchanges are done through electronic transfer,” a teller later explained, “He wouldn’t have walked away with a single Linden.”

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at Moonberry (26, 223, 34).

Bixyl Shuftan