Monday, March 30, 2015

Tales from Podex: Eggs Over Squeezy

By Bixyl Shuftan

March had been a good month for the Podex Exchange. As always, people went there to exchange their dollars, Euros, and other global currencies along with bitcoins for Lindens. Often they'd talk to the tellers what they were getting them for. Some were out to enjoy the winter season while there was still winter around. Others were buying them for apparel for the St. Patrick's parties, getting outfits, decorations, and kegs of green beer. Then there was the start of the Relay Season, and people were donating to their teams in various events. And of course, late in the month people were starting to get Easter decorations, which would fall on the first weekend in April.

The tellers were talking about the various goings on, when a certain figure walked in. He was wearing some colorful shorts, had long ears, and was carrying a basket of eggs and chocolates. And there was a sign inside, "Happy Easter."

The tellers looked at him, "Um, can we help you?"

"Yes, I'm the local Easter Bunny around here, and need to hide some eggs. This looks like a good spot."

"You want to hide eggs here?"

"Yes, in the back of the place, in the room you call the vault."

"I think not," the teller chuckled, "Clumsy Cooper, you honestly thought that lame disguise would work?"

"Who's Clumsy? I'm just here to hide some eggs."

"Yeah, right. Just turn right around before we call the police."

"Okay, be that way!" Clumsy then pulled out one of the eggs, "These are actually bombs. Just hand over the Lindens, and no one gets hurt."

The teller laughed, "The only bomb is your act. We're calling the cops."

Clumsy reacted by taking the egg and hurling it at the teller. But it didn't hit him. Instead, it hit the counter, bounced off, and hit him square in the forehead, "Owwwww!

"Get 'im!"

Realizing his plot was foiled, Clumsy turned around to bolt away. But while he had been confronting the tellers, someone had stepped inside the exchange after him. From the waist down, she had a serpintine, snakelike body: a naga. Clumsy yelped and tried to get around her. But she whipped her tail out at him, and tripped him. He tried to scramble up, but found her tail winding around him. "Ahhhhhhh!" He yelped again, trying to break free, but the naga's tail was just too strong. Clumsy was tighly bound.

"Lemme go!" the burglar begged.

"So ya can rob this place again?" The naga asked.

"Heeeellllppp!" Clumsy looked frightened.

"How long can you hold him, Ma'am?" one of the tellers asked.

"How long does it take to get the police here?" She answered.

"Not long. You want anything while we wait."

"Nah, I'm fine. He's actually kinda cute. I just wanna give him a nice big squeeze."

Clumsy felt the coils around him get a little tighter. He wasn't sure who to be afraid of more, time in the slammer, or being a little too close to a phobia of his.

"Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?"

It wasn't long before the SLPD arrived. Clumsy Cooper was arrested and charged with attempted griefing.

But even if Cooper's scheme had worked, there was no way he could have gotten away with any ill-gotten gains. “All our exchanges are done through electronic transfer,” a teller later explained to the SLPD, “He wouldn’t have walked away with a single Linden.”

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at the Coda sim at (45, 218, 61).

Note: The preceding is a fictional story, written for the dual purpose of advertisement and entertainment.

By Bixyl Shuftan 

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