Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Feathers Fly at Podex Bank

The workers at the Podex Exchange were having another typical November day. They talked some about the Veterans Day celebrations earlier that month. They talked a little about upcoming Winter activities that would soon arrive across the Grid. But more immediate were Thanksgiving activities. Some of the tellers expressed they seemed hard to find. Others told them about the “Turkey Day” festivities at Areo Pines.

During the talk, a figure approached the bank entrance. A teller glanced his way before turning to the others, “Looks like someone from a Thanksgiving party is stopping by for a little business.” They took care of some paperwork as the resident entered, then one turned his way, “Hello, how can we hel-” his words were cut short when he recognized the visitor.

The resident was wearing an American Indian costume. Not an authentic one, but one that looked like it was made for a low-budget movie. the most prominent feature were the feathers worn in places around the arms and legs, as well as a single feather on a headband, with the largest piece being a bow and quiver. The guy wearing it was instantly recognizable, “Clumsy Cooper,” the petty thief whom kept trying to rob the Podex exchange. But his attempts had never succeeded, sometimes failing epically.

“I bring greetings from Procyon Tribe,” Clumsy bluffed, talking like a movie character, “Here for terms of Treaty. Your Chief Shuftan get Moonberry land in exchange for fifty thousand Lindens every autumn at the time of the turkey. Will take now.”

The tellers looked at him, then chuckled. One joked, “Procyon Tribe had weak claim on land. Deal to trade for Lindens never made. Deal made to trade for two skins.” He then reached under hsi table, and tossed a couple moth-eaten rabbit pelts in Clumsy’s direction.

It was then Clumsy dropped his fake Indian act, “Okay, this is a stick-up!" He then drew his bow and arrow, "Hand over your Lindens!”

The tellers stared back, and one retorted, “Oh pul-lease. I’ve seen real Indians, or rather Native Americans, and I’ve seen real bows and arrows. That thing’s a cheap imitation from a freebie store that couldn’t scratch a target.”

“Oh yeah?!” Clumsy then pulled back on the string, aiming at a piece of equipment. But the result was a “crick” sound, followed by the bow breaking in two. Surprised, Clumsy let it drop to the ground. For a moment, no one spoke a word. Then one teller yelled, “Get ‘im!”

Clumsy promptly turned and ran out of the building. He sprited down to the shore, and jumped into the water. He then swam away, once again having nothing to show for his efforts but humiliation. He is currently wanted by the SLPD for attempted griefing.

But even if Clumsy Cooper had a working bow and arrow, there was no way he could have gotten away with any ill-gotten gains. “All our exchanges are done through electronic transfer,” a teller later explained, “He wouldn’t have walked away with a single Linden.”

The Podex Exchange has a record of being one of the safest Linden exchange services in Second Life, the data processing done outside the exchange, and has a record of thousands of satisfied customers. Transactions can be done at their website, or their location inworld at Moonberry (26, 223, 34).

Bixyl Shuftan

1 comment:

  1. I very much dislike advertising wrapped up in fake news items. I thought there were laws about that kind of thing.