Saturday, June 30, 2018

Reader Submitted: At The Tera Summer Festival

Malya Violetsong's reports on the MMO "Tera."

TERA Newsfox Malya, President of the Bixyl Fan Club of TERA (and Vice-President, with a vice only for fresh pepper!) reporting that the TERA Summer Festival has gone off without a hitch, since the posts were removed after mounting horses or dragons was deemed to be too perverted... Tonight at the Temple of the Wisdom Tree it seems the Vampirs are having a bloody-good time... not so much for their human hostages, but hit them with a holy spell and even Vampirs will run around high on the hog since they get turned into... hogs and their bacon gets fried! Holy bad pun-ch lines, Batnotman! Even the sloths in the temple are having a party! But it's a rather crappy situation for those who clean it up... trust me, at the moment the entrance smells like real big dump at the moment! Shaved ice, on the other hand, is this summer's coolest treat, and quite cold when it falls off it's cone and hits you. I recommend wearing strawberry red dresses like mine, so the stains of Vampir's Blood flavoring doesn't stain! ...much! Tank battles seem to happen here a lot for some reason! And being tanked, it is no wonder why the the players driving them can't hit anything! Anywho, this is Newsfox Malya of the Bixyl Fan Club of TERA, signing off! And autographs! This message was brought to you by TERA-Bull Vampir Repellant and Shaved Ice Flavorings, the vendor stall where the featherweight jokes are so bad they will tickle DJ SnowBuns into fleeing from last week's bakery as one hawt, cross Bun to say "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" No actual bunnies or DJs were tickled in response to the making of this advertisement, thank you!

Malya Violetsong

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